Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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