She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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