gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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