Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
