In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
