Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
