from now on my penis is your penis
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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