can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
