New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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