I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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