I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
