I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
