GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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