I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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