No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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