guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
