ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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