I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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