That's intense
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
