Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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