You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
