Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize