fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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