I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
