I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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