talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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