i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
