I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
In other news, I just burned my penis
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
