I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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