The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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