Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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