We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Farmville is her only friend.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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