Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
