should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
