Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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