her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
