...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
