The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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