I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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