I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
