I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
