Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
