Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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