he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just cropdusted the office
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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