Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
