just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
