They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize