he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
