Tell her she can't have a vagina
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
