Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
