This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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