dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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