I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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