Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
