Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  How did that happen by accident?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night. (1-314): How did that happen by accident? (314): I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/6uoj
  Replies (17) Good night (618) Bad night (3377)
• Favorite

  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (867): Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes. http://tfl.nu/k4jj
  Replies (13) Good night (2681) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/ahlc
  Replies (16) Good night (4405) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer http://tfl.nu/3upq
  Replies (42) Good night (3754) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty. http://tfl.nu/g5dx
  Replies (22) Good night (914) Bad night (6395)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice" http://tfl.nu/9e22
  Replies (10) Good night (2810) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ? http://tfl.nu/zpud
  Replies (8) Good night (1552) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/r6w3
  Replies (8) Good night (1063) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl. http://tfl.nu/kcuq
  Replies (5) Good night (1586) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!! http://tfl.nu/52t4
  Replies (9) Good night (520) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed. http://tfl.nu/ma7i
  Replies (6) Good night (814) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard. http://tfl.nu/ybia
  Replies (17) Good night (2696) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (971): Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/pagf
  Replies (1) Good night (894) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3w3a
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy. http://tfl.nu/2g6m
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (387)

Randomize