giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I enjoy the company of your penis