Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.

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  (513): Shitting during a conference call is so empowering. http://tfl.nu/es82
  Replies (12) Good night (3077) Bad night (593)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x

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  (305): I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x http://tfl.nu/g18f
  Replies (110) Good night (1349) Bad night (4803)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  So you threw a sword at me last night

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.

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  (440): So you threw a sword at me last night (419): I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised. http://tfl.nu/6fwc
  Replies (11) Good night (5770) Bad night (1134)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job

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  (703): You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job http://tfl.nu/in54
  Replies (27) Good night (1589) Bad night (3454)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur

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  (817): he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur http://tfl.nu/33k4
  Replies (42) Good night (2120) Bad night (7999)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?

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  (817): Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday? http://tfl.nu/r4ue
  Replies (3) Good night (1852) Bad night (695)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

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  (505): Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport http://tfl.nu/iu8r
  Replies (9) Good night (5430) Bad night (1027)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour

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  (520): I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour http://tfl.nu/ht3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2016) Bad night (741)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...

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  (701): Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab... http://tfl.nu/8q0e
  Replies (5) Good night (2377) Bad night (516)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.

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  (574): I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help. http://tfl.nu/f05s
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (443)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy

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  (443): I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy http://tfl.nu/5ksv
  Replies (5) Good night (438) Bad night (638)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.

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  (720): Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up. http://tfl.nu/96a6
  Replies (8) Good night (1677) Bad night (674)
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  (310): View more from California

  thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.

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  (310): thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones. http://tfl.nu/qrwe
  Replies (5) Good night (1204) Bad night (470)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.

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  (216): Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/m0rv
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (230)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.

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  (248): He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day. http://tfl.nu/1wxb
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (212)

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