Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

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  (443): There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now. http://tfl.nu/lz21
  Replies (37) Good night (911) Bad night (2171)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.

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  (516): I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen. http://tfl.nu/vaik
  Replies (13) Good night (1465) Bad night (3812)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags

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  (905): No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags http://tfl.nu/jbrv
  Replies (24) Good night (1701) Bad night (4032)
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  (585): View more from New York

  So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.

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  (585): So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/s1z9
  Replies (17) Good night (9203) Bad night (832)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"

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  (254): The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro" http://tfl.nu/wdu7
  Replies (12) Good night (835) Bad night (3142)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  that would be two times in a week with two different guys.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?

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  (816): that would be two times in a week with two different guys. (913): they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right? http://tfl.nu/b8ql
  Replies (21) Good night (4195) Bad night (1191)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.

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  (816): And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog. http://tfl.nu/zv3p
  Replies (10) Good night (3231) Bad night (1795)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.

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  (419): Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won. http://tfl.nu/dkj1
  Replies (3) Good night (2705) Bad night (984)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status

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  (908): As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status http://tfl.nu/7e09
  Replies (6) Good night (1761) Bad night (716)
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  (310): View more from California

  Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.

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  (310): Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show. http://tfl.nu/bzbb
  Replies (3) Good night (1298) Bad night (836)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.

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  (317): No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored. http://tfl.nu/emh2
  Replies (15) Good night (1697) Bad night (643)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.

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  (734): I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW. http://tfl.nu/ynr9
  Replies (10) Good night (2583) Bad night (617)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.

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  (914): Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy. http://tfl.nu/p3yo
  Replies (0) Good night (699) Bad night (296)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?

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  (256): On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs? http://tfl.nu/5plk
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (335)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.

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  (913): Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet. http://tfl.nu/v65u
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (371)

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