Texts From Last Night

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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  This girl is more easily done than said...

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  (+27): This girl is more easily done than said... http://tfl.nu/38ha
  Replies (5) Good night (3469) Bad night (894)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..

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  (610): He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him.. http://tfl.nu/ejw3
  Replies (10) Good night (1509) Bad night (3717)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.

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  (920): sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself. http://tfl.nu/ur25
  Replies (16) Good night (10409) Bad night (1282)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk

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  (904): It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk http://tfl.nu/fnmq
  Replies (4) Good night (3261) Bad night (1355)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

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  (203): Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light http://tfl.nu/z2qb
  Replies (5) Good night (2147) Bad night (1247)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.

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  (+44): I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland. http://tfl.nu/8trz
  Replies (5) Good night (2213) Bad night (922)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino

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  (816): i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino http://tfl.nu/4r5s
  Replies (9) Good night (1973) Bad night (978)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference

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  (304): she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference http://tfl.nu/95t7
  Replies (4) Good night (2315) Bad night (679)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.

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  (301): He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis. http://tfl.nu/pct3
  Replies (10) Good night (1060) Bad night (2142)
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  (530): View more from California

  red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.

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  (530): red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song. http://tfl.nu/0nv8
  Replies (10) Good night (2254) Bad night (749)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone

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  (828): I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone http://tfl.nu/fll1
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (1023)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it

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  (505): Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it http://tfl.nu/hkkt
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (618)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.

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  (269): I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic. http://tfl.nu/l4d9
  Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (916)
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  (714): View more from California

  I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.

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  (714): I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner. http://tfl.nu/e65g
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (351)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works

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  (206): I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works http://tfl.nu/x0jm
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (404)

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