think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra