Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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