That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
