Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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