arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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