Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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