More tranny stories later!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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