Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
