Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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