You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
