come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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