She is in my trunk
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
